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Being a step-parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… being one that loves and is involved in the step-children’s lives is even harder. I miss them so much… I can’t even imagine how my husband must feel. I am especially having a difficult time being away from Hannah, my17-year old step-daughter. She badly wants to return home from living in the Cayman’s with her mother and brother. The 2009 - 2010 school year is going to be her senior year… she should be able to come home to experience that with her lifelong friends.
How can a mother be as selfish as hers is? I will never understand why she makes the decisions she makes for herself and the kids. I wish there was something more I could do for Hannah to fix everything. She deserves better than the mother she’s been given. All I can do is listen to the new and inexplicable things her mother says or does to her.
I get so worked up over everything Hannah’s going through. I’m not sure how to deal with all of this anger… I need to let it go, but how? I have an 18 month old daughter I need to focus on and give my energy to. This is unfair to everyone in this family in so many ways. This is one of the very few times that I actually think the kids would be better off without their mother in their lives.
We have spent this past week sick, me and Maddi. It really sucks when it’s both of us who are sick… I just want to veg out and rest… with a toddler, that just doesn’t happen.
This morning, we did laundry together… she likes to take the clothes out of the dryer and throw them on the floor for me to pick up and fold. Then I’ll hand her the wet clothes to put into the dryer. What a big girl!
Later in the day, Maddi showed up in front of me with a candle in a glass holder… it took me a minute to realize where she got it from. I didn’t hear a crash… how did she? OH! She pulled the runner so that she could see the candle and proceeded to reach for it… and show mommy! I immediately forbid her from growing up anymore! Why don’t kids listen now days?
After the hubby got home, he decided to give Diesel cookies… Maddi always has to get in on the action, so she usually gives him some too. As she’s giving him the cookies, she says “sit” (well, not so clearly, but both my hubs and I looked at each other and knew what she was saying)… she did this several times in a row! OMG… my baby isn’t so much a baby anymore.
My poor little munchkin is still very sick and I am ready for her to feel better. Unfortunately, I think she as passed it on to mommy. Grrr! We are almost out of Kleenex… her sad little nose. We were supposed to go to a play date today, but I had to cancel last minute. If you have ever had to wipe or aspirate the nose of a toddler, you know that it’s near impossible…
While she’s laying on her back, not willingly, mind you…
Mommy “sits” on her to hold her arms to her sides…
With one hand, Mommy holds her head from twisting (not an easy task)…
And with the other hand, Mommy gets to suck her boogers out with the lovely aspirator!
I’ve done this 4 times today… I’m ready for a nap or a glass of wine! It’s only noon, so I guess the wine is out! When is she going to blow into the Kleenex? I’m looking forward to that day!
OMG… I just realized that I’m still watching the Disney Channel and Maddi went for her nap about 10 minutes ago… Shakable You - Imagination Movers! I’m not sure where the remote is, and God forbid, I actually get up to find it.
Yesterday, I was somewhat excited that Maddi didn’t want her binky. As a matter of fact, she refused it. She has a really bad cold, so she can’t breath while sucking on it. Then, my hubby came home… he gets her to take her binky. There goes my hopeful thinking… today, she’s back to the binky. Now, mind you, she’s not one of those toddlers that constantly needs a binky anyway, but still, it would be nice without.
But because of the dreadful binky, she, once again, made me smile.
As I approach her with her grape flavored medicine that she so, obviously, loves… she takes her binky out with one hand, as if to get ready for the medicine. She says “no, no” and holds up her other hand, as if saying “talk to the hand”. It is so cute, I just couldn’t help but laugh.
Over the past few days, my Maddi has been sick… she very rarely is this sick. While pondering where the joy of motherhood is hiding… underneath all of the vomit, diarrhea, boogers and crying… it must be there somewhere! My baby girl, with her excellent timing, walks up to me and says “hello” and blew mommy a kiss… THERE IT IS! That made the last few sleepless nights all worth it.
Mother of the Year
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