Introspective

I wonder if life presents us with tough times to humble us? I've never been an extravagant person, but since we're struggling so much right now, it reminds me of how blessed I've been... and still am. Even though it seems as though we are fighting for every scrap for the time being, we're very lucky in so many ways.

Dale's family didn't have much when he was a kid, but he had a very loving home. My family didn't have much either, but I didn't come from a loving home. There is such a difference... things aren't as important... it's all about loved ones.

I don't care about living in a big house, driving nice cars, brand-name clothing or big jewelry... all I care about is that we're together, as a family. So, even if we can't climb our way out of this mess and lose many of our material things, it doesn't matter. That's not what life is about.

We have no cushion to help us out. None. Zip. Nada. Zero.

We've lost about $20k on legal fees fighting my husbands PEW on various issues... usually, it's because she feels she is "entitled" to more money, and that won't end for 8 more years (another story for another time). Dale has been laid off from work 3 times since we've been married, but this is the first time that I'm really worried. This job market is so saturated! One call back in the hundreds... yes, I said hundreds... of resumes he's sent out.

So, now we're both looking for additional work to help make ends meet. Labor, consulting, graphic design, nannying... anything to bring extra money in! Even Hannah is pitching in with babysitting money <- of which, we'll pay back!

Think good thoughts.
Speak good words.
Take good actions.

Three steps that will bring more to you than you can ever imagine.

100 things I'm grateful for...

On May 26th, I wrote about the "Secret Daily Teachings" and the teaching for that day was to write a list of 100 things I'm grateful for. With all of the drama since then, it's taken some extra time, BUT I DID IT!

100 THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR:

Being a mom.
Maddi.
Dale.
Hannah.
Andrew.
Joshua.
Kendra.
My home.
Having the best Mother-In-Law in the world!
That I have the means and ability to further my education.
That I can stay at home with my daughter.
My dear friends, old and new.
My daughter’s curiosity.
To go on an annual vacation with my family.
Having such a strong marriage.
My pets… they make me laugh almost as much as Maddi.
That Andrew is doing so well in the Army.
Watching my daughter grow and change every day.
My gorgeous and fabulous neighborhood.
That my daughter will have a better childhood than me.
The way my husband looks at me.
My Chihuahua “blinking” at me.
The feeling of happiness that long alluded me.
My morning cup of coffee that my loving hubby makes for me!
Starbucks!
Chapstick!
Lessons learned.
For the health of my family.
To provide Hannah with the female, adult guidance she so desperately needs.
When my daughter blows a kiss at me to say “I love you”.
To help my friends who’ve helped me so much during my times of need.
Facebook… not just for the video games, but for the people I can now stay in touch with.
To have a relationship with my brother, Sean… finally!
His girlfriend, Julia… hopefully, I can call her sister-in-law some day!
To have not experience the loss of someone I love… yet.
Having a little more patience than I used to… still working on that!
Finding the right doctors and medications to help me through my PPD and anxiety issues.
Reduced Fat Oreo Cookies!
Losing 25 pounds so far… still a work in progress.
Waking up in the morning hearing the birds twittering.
My love for reading.
To have the wisdom to cool off before arguing with a loved one.
My daughter has such a wonderful and involved god-mother.
That my Oma and Opa are so good to Maddi.
To have so many moms in my life.
My mommy time every morning before Maddi wakes up.
My daughter’s laugh… most children’s laugh for that matter.
The uncooked tortillas from Costco.
That Dale is such a good father.
Wireless Internet.
To have Hannah home, safe and sound.
DVR.
The FREE hot tub we had delivered on Thursday.
Everything Bagels <- the best ever!
Pho.
When my daughter cuddles with me for no reason.
To everyone who worked so hard to get Hannah home.
My daughter's smile... missing teeth and all.
Captain Morgan and Diet Coke
Our beautiful flowers in the backyard.
When Diesel cuddles on my lap.
My husband's ability to provide for our family.
Our tent trailer.
All of our scheduled camping trips for the summer.
My new netbook, Dale gave me for my birthday.
That Maddi already says "thank you" at the appropriate times.
When my daughter "helps" with chores.
My wonderful mommy friends.
Safeway's chocolate cake... the moistest cake you'll ever have!
The "Secret"
The "Twilight" series and movies.
My daughter's love for the outdoors.
Waking up in the morning to sunshine.
Palm trees.
Flip-flops.
Coupons... saving money is always good!
When is snows enough to sled down our hill.
Dark chocolate.
Imagination Movers... they can entertain Maddi for 30 minutes!
Watching my daughter dance... although, it's usually "Poker Face" or "If U Seek Amy" playing!
The frogs we play with in the backyard.
Craigslist... we have found some amazing deals!
The smell of coconut, especially during the summer.
When my hubby gives me a mushy card out of the blue.
Finally going to college!
Tahiti Village.
Being so lucky.
Being free of glasses and contacts.
Hannah being Maddi's big sister.
Having Hannah here to babysit on date nights!
A well-deserved pedicure.
When my daughter "talks" on the phone.
My daughter being able to know her big sissy now.
Twitter.
Victoria's Secret undies.
Someone else making coffee in the morning.
My hubby always standing by my side.
When my daughter "sings" and does the hand motions.
Grey's Anatomy
My life.