What is wrong with this kid?

Yeah, that's actually a rhetorical question. I know what is wrong with JT... it's actually NOT him. It's the PEW.


This kid has been coddled and babied his entire life. Not to mention, poisoned by PEW. Have you heard of something called parental alienation syndrome? I hadn't even heard of that syndrome until reading so many books on trying to co-parent with PEW. So, now that he's here with us, he's not the baby, cuz... um... yeah, the baby is the baby!

JT doesn't even seem to like Maddi, his own sister. I know it's not because he really doesn't like her. He's been trained to think of her as only his half sister and he's told he's not loved enough since he isn't the youngest here. So annoying!

So, yesterday, while all of the other kids are watching their parents light fireworks, JT is pouting because he can't light them. Now, this kid is a pyromaniac... seriously, no joke! He built a bomb with an air soft gun, fireworks and other such materials two days ago. After I was able to scrape my jaw off of the floor, I immediately confiscated it. Who's kid is this?

This morning, I told him that on Wednesday we're going to the Imagine Children's Museum for their light splitting workshop. You know what he said?

"Yawn".

Literally, he said "Yawn".

I told him that he could just stay home with dad and do chores, because I certainly would not bring an ungrateful child to do anything that would be too boring. And proceeded to tell him that being rude and disrespectful will not be tolerated in this house.

I know, I know... he was told by PEW that I am not his parent, so he doesn't have to listen to me. This poor child! What must be going through his mind?

Tonight, Dale and I will be discussing this issue. I know it's not entirely JT's fault, but that does not mean that I should have to endure his disrespect. And I will not.

Who moved my... EVERYTHING?

Why is change so hard?

Even good change... I am having a very hard time adjusting to Hannah and Dale being here during the day. Today is really only the 2nd day of this... how sad is that? Two days of having more people around and I want to just get back to the way it was.

Don't get me wrong... I love Hannah and I'm VERY happy to have her here, and I love my hubby and I looked forward to him coming home each afternoon!

I just have routines with Maddi that are disappearing rapidly. I'm used to having things "my" way during the day... I don't have to worry about anyone else, just me and Maddi. Yes, I am somewhat of a control freak. I didn't even consider this adjustment period. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm sure Hannah is going through her own adjustment period too... she just went through a very tough time, and I know she was scared. Now, she's separated from her boyfriend... and I truly feel for her, I do. I hate seeing her just sitting on the couch with the laptop, hoping to chat with her boyfriend online. She's always there like a lump on a log... sometimes sleeping. I don't know how to help her... I REALLY hate that.

Since Dale was laid off, he doesn't have much choice. His job search really started yesterday... we just didn't have any additional energy to get that going while trying to take care of Hannah, who was thousands of miles away. The good news is that he's getting good response to his resume... and he's been told by 2 recruiters that they've seen an upswing in job opportunities this month. Whew! Timing IS everything!

My hope is that we'll find counselors to help us all through this difficult transition... at least it's a transition we all wanted! Otherwise, it could be so much harder on all of us.

Today, I'm just plain grumpy... I want to just hide in my room and not talk to anyone. It's not any one's fault. Everything seems off... nothing is where it's supposed to be... and my sense of time is completely a-wall... Blah!

Can I get a Do-Over?

Dale, Maddi and I returned from Las Vegas yesterday afternoon. It started out well... nice and relaxing. We arrived last Wednesday evening, but late Saturday night, we got a million phone calls regarding my step-daughter, Hannah. Including calls from her, herself.

Hannah's mother reported her missing at 12:30am Cayman time... and only after not talking to her for a matter of hours. I believe this is in response to Hannah wanting to return home to live with her dad and me. Since finding out that Hannah wants to do this, she has treated Hannah horribly... she has dealt with mental abuse for years, but it has recently escalated. So, Saturday, Hannah decided not to return home for any further abuse. The police got involved that night and finally helped her get her things on Monday night.

After many International calls from our cell phones (OMG, it's going to cost an arm and a leg!), several emails, and many sleepless nights... we've finally gotten Hannah home! Today has been a recovery day... we are all so emotionally and physically exhausted.

I feel just awful for Hannah... besides the fact that her mother has treated her so horribly, Hannah has found many of her belongings missing. Can you believe her mother actually stole personal items from her? I will never understand her thinking regarding this situation... and I'm actually glad I can't understand... meaning, I'm not crazy!

Dale and I didn't get a chance to work on his resume or search for a job, as Hannah became a higher priority. So, we will be working on that tomorrow. Before leaving, I was trying to list 100 things I'm grateful for... I got to #52. I need to get back to it this weekend! I wanted to get all of this off my chest tonight, so tomorrow, I'll tell you all about how much fun we DID have on vacation!

Look Out for Mama Bear!

I know that life isn't fair... hell, I know that more than most! My daughter (17-yr old step-daughter) has gotten the short end of the stick! Her "mother" has emotionally abused her for years, physically abused her on occasion, manipulated her, moved her thousands of miles away from her close-knit family, treated her as her own personal slave, and told her to move out several times. This is all VERY heart-breaking to me!

Yesterday, we finally got her "mother" to agree on the flight arrangements for both the kids to fly home. She had one final demand that we will not agree to... unfortunately, this set off a domino effect. Her and her sister started a full on psychological warfare with my daughter. Long story, short... Hannah will NOW be returning home, for good, on June 9th! The living situation she has been forced to endure for the last 7 months is absolutely unacceptable.

During all of the "discussions", I was practically hyperventilating and having panic attacks. Mama Bear made an appearance last night... when she comes out, I only see red. I want to protect my kids from anything and anyone... I don't care who you THINK you are! It's probably a good thing she is so many miles away, or I may be in a jail cell this morning. (No worries... Nothing murderous!)

In the end, I'm realizing that no matter how hard this is on me... God put me in these kids lives for a reason... and I'm beginning to understand that more and more!

Imagine all of that combined with being dizzy and nauseated! Yeah, it gets more fun! I have some liquid in my inner ears, causing my balance to be completely off. The meds make me SO tired! So, no driving for me for 2 - 3 weeks... good thing we'll be in Vegas for a good part of that time!

Makes you wonder how none of us are in the Nut House!

Mother of the Year

Being a step-parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… being one that loves and is involved in the step-children’s lives is even harder. I miss them so much… I can’t even imagine how my husband must feel. I am especially having a difficult time being away from Hannah, my17-year old step-daughter. She badly wants to return home from living in the Cayman’s with her mother and brother. The 2009 - 2010 school year is going to be her senior year… she should be able to come home to experience that with her lifelong friends.

How can a mother be as selfish as hers is? I will never understand why she makes the decisions she makes for herself and the kids. I wish there was something more I could do for Hannah to fix everything. She deserves better than the mother she’s been given. All I can do is listen to the new and inexplicable things her mother says or does to her.

I get so worked up over everything Hannah’s going through. I’m not sure how to deal with all of this anger… I need to let it go, but how? I have an 18 month old daughter I need to focus on and give my energy to. This is unfair to everyone in this family in so many ways. This is one of the very few times that I actually think the kids would be better off without their mother in their lives.