Just call me.... Suzie Homemaker?

Since my hubby and I got married, I've struggled with what to do with myself. I've worked my entire life, from the age of 13, I started babysitting every day after school. 

Immediately after getting married, I quit my job to stay home with the kids. I love being at home, but I had this weird, guilty feeling that I needed to be earning money. I have sold Mary Kay, knock off handbags, Discovery Toys, and even worked in a Daycare for a while. But in the end, I am at home again. 

For a while, I studied to get my AA in Early Childhood Education. Although, I've only completed a quarter, I don't think that's the right fit for me anymore. After running a daycare in my home for about a year and a half, I have come to the realization that I really don't like other people's kids. LMAO So, going into a field where I'd have to teach other people's kids... um... may not work. 

By the end of October, my daycare will be closed. I'm wrapping my head around being a full fledged Homemaker. I don't know what I will do with myself yet. I used to enjoy sewing and knitting, so I'm going to try those again. Maddi will be enrolled in preschool and other classes. I need to find some hobbies!

Long time, no see...

It has been just about a year since I've even viewed my blog, let alone write anything. We've had a pretty tough go of it since October, 2009. Our family is still in tact, we have our home, and we are all generally happy and healthy... we are very blessed.

My husband got a job, left it, and got another job... LOL He loves the company he's working for now. He is the CFO (I think that's his title... he's not much into titles) for Clean Crawls in Marysville. I'm happy to see him in a job where he's so appreciated.

Kendra met Kevin, and now they are married. I believe they were married on June 3, 2010 in the Grand Caymans. They moved to Sacramento, CA and they both are figuring out what they want to do for careers. Kendra is very happy living in California. We did have a visit with them recently, when we finally gave them their Christmas gifts from last year!

Andrew joined the Army and is stationed in Hawaii. He is happier than I've ever seen him since I've known him. Andy is currently stationed in Iraq where he is taking beautiful pictures and sharing them on Facebook. He calls to check in periodically.

Hannah graduated in 2009 from high school and is now attending Pacific Lutheran University. She's in their pre-med program and loves it there! She spent her entire summer working to save money for school. She is still dating John from Canada... I think they're going on about 1 1/2 years now.

Joshua is still living in Grand Cayman with his mother. We had an awesome visit with him this last summer. I can't believe how fast he's growing, and how smart he is. Josh has a dog, hamster, and now maybe a cat. Unfortunately, he's bored and lonely there.

Madelyn is your typical 3 year old, driving her mom crazy. She is in dance class for tap & ballet... she loves the tap best because of the "noisy" shoes. I'm hoping to get her into preschool January 2011.

I'm closing my daycare this month to focus on the family again. Maddi needs to be able to attend classes and preschool. Dale is tired of additional cleaning when he gets home from work. We both want our house and yard back. My intention is to get back to writing my blog again, studying (although I don't know what, since I'm not sure Early Childhood Education is right for me anymore), and meeting more people.

HOT, HOT, HOT

Holy crow, it's HOT! I know, I know we do nothing but complain about the weather, here in Washington... it's too cold, too rainy, too snowy, too hot! Well, I think 101* is too hot for anyone! It's cooler in Texas, for goodness sake!

Now, I don't have a lot of room to complain about the heat because I have air conditioning in the house, so we're quite comfortable.

We are sharing it with our neighbors though... I think we're going to have a full house today. I'm not sure how we'll entertain all of the kids, but we'll manage!

MADDI SAID "I LOVE YOU" FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME THIS MORNING! I'm smiling inside and out... nothing can ruin that today!

The Big Girl Bed

I've been trying to figure out if it's time to put Maddi into her big girl bed for the last couple of months. We've had the twin size bed in her room since day one... made it easier to lay down with her without waking up the other spouse in the middle of the night. Lately, she's been waking up several times a night and extra early, making for rough days.

It seems as though, you're either for the big girl bed as soon as possible or you're for keeping her in the crib as long as possible. A quick poll on Facebook showed a pretty even split.

So, during this past weekend, I rearranged Maddi's room. (The big girl bed was right next to the window and I didn't like that much). I put her crib right outside her bedroom, just in case. After I was done, I had her come up stairs to check it out. Here's her reaction...

"Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!", in an almost whisper voice, with her arms out and her hands open.

Once I finished laughing at her response... she climbed into her big girl bed. But the real test had not happened yet...

She took her nap there on Sunday... I was not home, so it was all dad. I happened to call him during her nap... he says "I'm laying down with Maddi to get her to sleep". To which I yelled... yes, I yelled, "Don't you dare do that! Do you have any idea what kind of monster you'll create?" Yes, I know, a little over dramatic, but I'm the one usually at home with her and I WILL NOT lay down with her every time she goes down! So, anyway... he had to put her back in her bed 12 times... LOL!

That night, I put her down, thinking that it would be Round 1 of 10 or so. Nope, she snuggled right in and went to sleep! And she slept all night until 7:30am! Ah, success!

Today, she snuggled right in for nap again! Dale just put her down about 10 minutes ago... cross your fingers!

So far, mommy is LOVING the big girl bed! The sad part is that she's not so much a baby anymore.

Who moved my... EVERYTHING?

Why is change so hard?

Even good change... I am having a very hard time adjusting to Hannah and Dale being here during the day. Today is really only the 2nd day of this... how sad is that? Two days of having more people around and I want to just get back to the way it was.

Don't get me wrong... I love Hannah and I'm VERY happy to have her here, and I love my hubby and I looked forward to him coming home each afternoon!

I just have routines with Maddi that are disappearing rapidly. I'm used to having things "my" way during the day... I don't have to worry about anyone else, just me and Maddi. Yes, I am somewhat of a control freak. I didn't even consider this adjustment period. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I'm sure Hannah is going through her own adjustment period too... she just went through a very tough time, and I know she was scared. Now, she's separated from her boyfriend... and I truly feel for her, I do. I hate seeing her just sitting on the couch with the laptop, hoping to chat with her boyfriend online. She's always there like a lump on a log... sometimes sleeping. I don't know how to help her... I REALLY hate that.

Since Dale was laid off, he doesn't have much choice. His job search really started yesterday... we just didn't have any additional energy to get that going while trying to take care of Hannah, who was thousands of miles away. The good news is that he's getting good response to his resume... and he's been told by 2 recruiters that they've seen an upswing in job opportunities this month. Whew! Timing IS everything!

My hope is that we'll find counselors to help us all through this difficult transition... at least it's a transition we all wanted! Otherwise, it could be so much harder on all of us.

Today, I'm just plain grumpy... I want to just hide in my room and not talk to anyone. It's not any one's fault. Everything seems off... nothing is where it's supposed to be... and my sense of time is completely a-wall... Blah!

the FUN part of dysFUNctional

So, our vacation wasn't all bad... we had a lot of fun too! Maddi made sure we had plenty of laughs during our roller coaster of a vacation.

The gorgeous palm trees by the pool.

The pool... the building is the one we stayed in.

The view from our room...

Maddi LOVED the pool!

Maddi had so much fun flirting with every passerby...

Maddi and her "ba-ba"...

I'm quite proud to say that I took this pic...

Maddi having more fun in the kiddy pool...

This was so funny... this grasshopper hitched a ride on Maddi's hat, taking 4 laps with her...

Friday morning, Maddi got her very first pedicure! It was so funny to watch her walking around looking at her toes... we would just comment on her "pretty toes" and she'd get so gitty.

I'm ready mommy...

Pretty toes...

Look mommy!

Maddi enjoyed her very first Oreo Cookies... mmm, mmm, Mommy's favorite! It was definitely not a clean experience, but it was tons of fun to watch!

Maddi is finally at a fun age, when you can enjoy watching her experience new things. While we were gone, she got to have many firsts... I'm glad I got to capture them on camera! Looking forward to taking her to Disneyland some day... she's such a ham!

Can I get a Do-Over?

Dale, Maddi and I returned from Las Vegas yesterday afternoon. It started out well... nice and relaxing. We arrived last Wednesday evening, but late Saturday night, we got a million phone calls regarding my step-daughter, Hannah. Including calls from her, herself.

Hannah's mother reported her missing at 12:30am Cayman time... and only after not talking to her for a matter of hours. I believe this is in response to Hannah wanting to return home to live with her dad and me. Since finding out that Hannah wants to do this, she has treated Hannah horribly... she has dealt with mental abuse for years, but it has recently escalated. So, Saturday, Hannah decided not to return home for any further abuse. The police got involved that night and finally helped her get her things on Monday night.

After many International calls from our cell phones (OMG, it's going to cost an arm and a leg!), several emails, and many sleepless nights... we've finally gotten Hannah home! Today has been a recovery day... we are all so emotionally and physically exhausted.

I feel just awful for Hannah... besides the fact that her mother has treated her so horribly, Hannah has found many of her belongings missing. Can you believe her mother actually stole personal items from her? I will never understand her thinking regarding this situation... and I'm actually glad I can't understand... meaning, I'm not crazy!

Dale and I didn't get a chance to work on his resume or search for a job, as Hannah became a higher priority. So, we will be working on that tomorrow. Before leaving, I was trying to list 100 things I'm grateful for... I got to #52. I need to get back to it this weekend! I wanted to get all of this off my chest tonight, so tomorrow, I'll tell you all about how much fun we DID have on vacation!

Look Out for Mama Bear!

I know that life isn't fair... hell, I know that more than most! My daughter (17-yr old step-daughter) has gotten the short end of the stick! Her "mother" has emotionally abused her for years, physically abused her on occasion, manipulated her, moved her thousands of miles away from her close-knit family, treated her as her own personal slave, and told her to move out several times. This is all VERY heart-breaking to me!

Yesterday, we finally got her "mother" to agree on the flight arrangements for both the kids to fly home. She had one final demand that we will not agree to... unfortunately, this set off a domino effect. Her and her sister started a full on psychological warfare with my daughter. Long story, short... Hannah will NOW be returning home, for good, on June 9th! The living situation she has been forced to endure for the last 7 months is absolutely unacceptable.

During all of the "discussions", I was practically hyperventilating and having panic attacks. Mama Bear made an appearance last night... when she comes out, I only see red. I want to protect my kids from anything and anyone... I don't care who you THINK you are! It's probably a good thing she is so many miles away, or I may be in a jail cell this morning. (No worries... Nothing murderous!)

In the end, I'm realizing that no matter how hard this is on me... God put me in these kids lives for a reason... and I'm beginning to understand that more and more!

Imagine all of that combined with being dizzy and nauseated! Yeah, it gets more fun! I have some liquid in my inner ears, causing my balance to be completely off. The meds make me SO tired! So, no driving for me for 2 - 3 weeks... good thing we'll be in Vegas for a good part of that time!

Makes you wonder how none of us are in the Nut House!

Post Mother's Day Blues

Okay, so before I start, I want to preface, by saying that by hubby is a VERY hard worker, great husband, and terrific dad. I know he does a lot for us and I appreciate and love him every day!

So, for Mother's Day, I got "a day off"... Dale took care of Maddi, made meals, and he got a lot done. Sounds great, right? Accept, today I'm left with a disaster for a kitchen, a living room that is disheveled, and laundry that needs to be done. So, I ask, what is the point of taking a day off if I have to do it all the next day anyway? This issue isn't that my hubby doesn't do anything, it's that his priorities are different from mine... AND he doesn't notice the same things I do either. For instance, the animals water dish is bone dry, both the garbage and recycle containers are full <- Dude, if your beer bottle doesn't fit into the container (it was left on the counter), the recycle is full!

This morning, instead of taking Maddi to gymnastics, I'm at home trying to get caught up on what I didn't do yesterday. I have to have it done because my In-Laws (I love them dearly) will be over tomorrow afternoon.

Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine!

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

I truly have the very best husband in the world! I haven't done a thing today, except eat & drink what ever my hubs has made. First thing this morning, Maddi brought me my Mother's Day gift... a very sweet mother's ring! It needs to be sized still... it only fits my pinky!

Dale made me the fluffiest pancakes ever for breakfast. I took a nap and woke up to the smell of brownies... mmm, mmm, good! Then he took Maddi with him to Lowes <- their favorite store, and brought me back a Starbucks... I'm in heaven.

We're going to do a little Mother's Day thing for Grandma Gjerness, while she's here on Tuesday. And we'll see Grandma Rush over the weekend. I bought Mother's Day cards for Mom's, Grandma's, Oma's, Great-Grandma's, and God-Mother's... and promptly forgot to mail them all! I will send them out tomorrow, however, so that no one thinks I forgot them... maybe?

Mourn the Spider

Maddi had me laughing out loud this morning (AGAIN)... I found a spider in the bathroom and showed it to her. She thought it was pretty cool and wanted to touch it... she did... and turned around with a poor, little spider stuck to her finger tip, and said "uh-oh". LOL

I think it's almost time to move Maddi to a big girl bed... when I've gotten her out of her crib this week, she's been trying to get out. So far, it's been unsuccessful. I'm worried that I'm going to hear a thud and it's going to be her falling. Everyone says to keep her in the crib as long as possible... ugh!

I finally got the DVD player installed in my car... I've been talking about doing this for about a year! Yeah, I know, procrastinate much? While I was at it, I found 2 sippy cups with a little bit of milk in them... straight to the garbage <- I'm not even going to try to clean that up! Gross! I think I threw out about 5 empty Starbucks cups, several used baby wipes (not for poopy or anything like that), and a bunch of goldfish crackers.

No Baby Maker Here

My Mother-In-Law brought our niece, Korryn and her daughter, Melodie to see visit today. They flew in on Friday from Colorado for two weeks. This is the first time we've met Melodie, who was born on February 19. She is so VERY adorable... those Gjerness cheeks make me laugh. <- Maddi had/has them too!

Now, while I think she is just a doll, it firms up my decision to not have any more kids myself. One is enough... well, kind of five, but that's not the point. I absolutely do not, I repeat, DO NOT want to have any more babies. And yes, that is written in stone. Korryn, if you ever read this, it has nothing to do with Melodie directly, so no offense intended! I am grateful that Dale is on the same page as me!

It's funny, cuz I can't even remember Maddi being that small! When I look at pictures, she just looks so different. What's even more funny is that I used to think she was the cutest baby when she was younger too... she must be getting cuter as she gets older! I'm not biased or anything.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about
immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried..
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt….
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much…
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Share this with someone who you think is an awesome Mom.
Leslie J. Allen
DSMS English Department Chair
Site Technology Rep (STR)
ConnectMe Power User (CPU)
http://cmweb.pvschools.net/~leallen

”It takes a village to raise a child.” African Proverb

Mother of the Year

Being a step-parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… being one that loves and is involved in the step-children’s lives is even harder. I miss them so much… I can’t even imagine how my husband must feel. I am especially having a difficult time being away from Hannah, my17-year old step-daughter. She badly wants to return home from living in the Cayman’s with her mother and brother. The 2009 - 2010 school year is going to be her senior year… she should be able to come home to experience that with her lifelong friends.

How can a mother be as selfish as hers is? I will never understand why she makes the decisions she makes for herself and the kids. I wish there was something more I could do for Hannah to fix everything. She deserves better than the mother she’s been given. All I can do is listen to the new and inexplicable things her mother says or does to her.

I get so worked up over everything Hannah’s going through. I’m not sure how to deal with all of this anger… I need to let it go, but how? I have an 18 month old daughter I need to focus on and give my energy to. This is unfair to everyone in this family in so many ways. This is one of the very few times that I actually think the kids would be better off without their mother in their lives.

My Baby is Growing Up!

We have spent this past week sick, me and Maddi. It really sucks when it’s both of us who are sick… I just want to veg out and rest… with a toddler, that just doesn’t happen.

This morning, we did laundry together… she likes to take the clothes out of the dryer and throw them on the floor for me to pick up and fold. Then I’ll hand her the wet clothes to put into the dryer. What a big girl!

Later in the day, Maddi showed up in front of me with a candle in a glass holder… it took me a minute to realize where she got it from. I didn’t hear a crash… how did she? OH! She pulled the runner so that she could see the candle and proceeded to reach for it… and show mommy! I immediately forbid her from growing up anymore! Why don’t kids listen now days?

After the hubby got home, he decided to give Diesel cookies… Maddi always has to get in on the action, so she usually gives him some too. As she’s giving him the cookies, she says “sit” (well, not so clearly, but both my hubs and I looked at each other and knew what she was saying)… she did this several times in a row! OMG… my baby isn’t so much a baby anymore.

Can I Get Some Wine With Those Boogers?

My poor little munchkin is still very sick and I am ready for her to feel better. Unfortunately, I think she as passed it on to mommy. Grrr! We are almost out of Kleenex… her sad little nose. We were supposed to go to a play date today, but I had to cancel last minute. If you have ever had to wipe or aspirate the nose of a toddler, you know that it’s near impossible…

While she’s laying on her back, not willingly, mind you…
Mommy “sits” on her to hold her arms to her sides…

With one hand, Mommy holds her head from twisting (not an easy task)…

And with the other hand, Mommy gets to suck her boogers out with the lovely aspirator!
I’ve done this 4 times today… I’m ready for a nap or a glass of wine! It’s only noon, so I guess the wine is out! When is she going to blow into the Kleenex? I’m looking forward to that day!

OMG… I just realized that I’m still watching the Disney Channel and Maddi went for her nap about 10 minutes ago… Shakable You - Imagination Movers! I’m not sure where the remote is, and God forbid, I actually get up to find it.

The Joys of Motherhood

Over the past few days, my Maddi has been sick… she very rarely is this sick. While pondering where the joy of motherhood is hiding… underneath all of the vomit, diarrhea, boogers and crying… it must be there somewhere! My baby girl, with her excellent timing, walks up to me and says “hello” and blew mommy a kiss… THERE IT IS! That made the last few sleepless nights all worth it.